tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9143702771543283167.post8974429725236887228..comments2022-12-04T10:21:13.477-08:00Comments on Uniquely~Me: Spiritual Healing- ReintegrationMary Boydhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03710555744582653840noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9143702771543283167.post-43109193577440324902014-01-09T22:47:37.567-08:002014-01-09T22:47:37.567-08:00Yes, I can see what you're saying, Ivy. I took...Yes, I can see what you're saying, Ivy. I took the "I'm the prize" declaration more of a reminder that I am indeed "a" or "the" prize and to not underestimate or belittle my value -in addition to the man's value- and not so much as an "I'm more important/prized" kind of statement. I think a lot of women struggle with remembering their worth and end up settling for less than what they deserve or for men who take advantage of their meekness. This doesn't say that men don't also suffer from the same. I also think men are attracted to women who are confident in themselves and know their worth and present it in such a way that they don't have to flaunt it. I think it's more likely that the flaunting of the confidence is what becomes unappealing to the men you mentioned? I think there is nothing wrong with a little season of chase/pursuit. I believe the problems occur when there isn't a "defining the relationship" type of conversation- which is necessary in order to usher the transition of the pursuit into mutual courtship. <br />Sooo, my comment it getting long here, lol, and I know that there must be mutual pursuit in a relationship; but I know that there is something to be said about the pursuit that God's word calls for men in particular to embrace when in relationship with a women. I don't mean to get all preachy here but Ephesians 5:22-23 calls for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And we know that Christ also considered the church to be his bride whom he pursued fiercely. <br />I haven't quite gotten all of this figured out, but I do know that man's pursuit of woman is important and biblical. Not to say more so than the other way around, but it is highlighted in the word and I am determined to dig into it more to find out the significance behind it.Mary Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03710555744582653840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9143702771543283167.post-48798435085066334002014-01-07T08:40:08.331-08:002014-01-07T08:40:08.331-08:00Alana's point about the subtle shift is spot o...Alana's point about the subtle shift is spot on. I agree that it removes the pressure and whether he's YOUR type is the most important thing for YOU to be concerned about. Let him worry about whether you're his type--that's his business lol. I respectfully push back against the whole "one of us is a prize" idea. That attitude can also get in the way of honest courtship and create this unnatural "chasing" dynamic which a) makes it hard to know when one person stops chasing and when y'all start mutually courting each other and figuring out if this is forever and b) is unappealing to some perfectly nice, good guys. I think a proper partner is a "prize" no matter the gender. Knowing what I'm looking for, when I find a guy with those attributes who also respects mine, I'll definitely feel like I got a prize! And he should too lol.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, remembering your value definitely makes social interactions easier. People love talking to you, inviting you to outings and so on. So talk if you want, keep things to yourself if you want, but if you see someone you want to talk to--man or woman--try to summon up the courage to talk to them! People usually appreciate it and if they're not nice, you learned something valuable early on.<br /><br />Okay this comment is turning into a book but from our conversations, you know I could go on and on about this!<br /><br />looove! <br /><br />IvyIvyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16967401858771081827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9143702771543283167.post-34196024237614785812014-01-05T04:17:46.030-08:002014-01-05T04:17:46.030-08:00HI Alana,
I'm glad to know I'm not the on...HI Alana, <br />I'm glad to know I'm not the only one juggling all of those thoughts in my head! Everything you mentioned is such good advice and encouragement. I look forward to getting more practice in just being out there, comfortable, and focusing more on re-learning my type rather than my counterpart's type :) It's crazy how we can be so quick to downplay our own importance and value!<br /><br />Thank you so much for all the positive energy and love! I'm sure some more unfolding in this thought process will occur and I look forward to sharing my journey on here :)<br />xoxo MaryMary Boydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03710555744582653840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9143702771543283167.post-16735686405517494542014-01-04T13:11:24.409-08:002014-01-04T13:11:24.409-08:00Mary,
I can totally relate to feeling awkward in...Mary, <br /><br />I can totally relate to feeling awkward in social situations and it's like you took the thoughts right out of my head. Even though I'm pretty used to going out by myself now, those are all of the things I think about. Are you a fellow Virgo? :) Yes, smile! It take some practice to get out of your head and truly be present but you'll find you're so much more comfortable and people will naturally be more attracted to you. <br /><br />Also, instead of worrying about whether the guy is your type, try to figure out through his conversation and behavior whether he's YOUR type. This subtle shift takes the pressure off and can help make you feel more in control. You're the prize! :)<br /><br />Dating (especially in LA) is an interesting experience and I can see how it might seem overwhelming for you. I'm sending you lots of positive energy and love and can't wait to read more of your posts. <br /><br />Alana Alanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17322758670268588925noreply@blogger.com